I am a very lucky athlete. Sometimes I have/had a little pain, but then I go/went to bed early and the next morning I can/couldn’t remember where I was complaining about the day before. The most difficulties I had were with my ego when sitting on the e(r)go-meter. However, I worked on that and in between I had enough success experiences.

These positive experiences made it even easier to stay in the present moment and to focus on my technique, power, breathing and every single stroke.
However, after a very successful training camp in Spain January 2016, where I felt better than I ever felt before and I rowed faster than I ever did before, my back started hurting. However, in the beginning it where my glutes that were very sensitive and painful. And quickly I was very stiff every morning. Stiff like an old lady. Normally I went to bed early and 10 hours later I was ‘as new’. But this time, nothing worked out. Yes, I could row, but I couldn’t give a lot of pressure in the front of the stroke. The part where I really like to connect and like to push. After struggling and struggling I started two races with this stiffness and injured back. The first race, a 5km race, I placed second. I raced that race really on ‘personality’. It all felt so bad. I had no suppleness, no timing and no power. I only had my drive to make the best of it and my fitness (which was quite well on that moment). The second race was the Nationals. I needed painkillers. Everybody knows I hate painkillers, because pain is my best friend, it gives me signs that I normally listen to. And after being a ‘athlete’ from the age of four I think I can separate quite clearly between pain because you push really hard and pain because there is something ‘wrong’ in my body. However, I wanted to race those Nationals….... So, I talked to myself and I was wishing for perfect circumstances. Maybe there was a strong tailwind…. then I could race with this @%^^&**% feeling in my body. However, there was only very strong head wind that tournament and after four races I became fifth in the A-final. After my race my dad directly came to me and asked: “what were you doing? I have never seen you rowing as crappy as this?!”. I started crying. Because of the painkillers I made it all worse and after this race I couldn’t row anymore. The only things I could do were walking and lying. No sitting, and therefore no writing. But I made the best of it. So, I bought a lot of good audio books and I walked through the forest of Amsterdam while listening to Eckhart Tolle most of the time. Every day I improved but I paused rowing. I was rowing for ten years and I wanted to give my body another impulse. Today, more than one year ago I was sitting in my skiff again. Crazy, it felt sooooo good! That’s the only thing I know. It felt good, it was nice and I was directly in the flow. I don’t know more yet. I have open-ended-results. I know it’s all good. Whatever choice I will make and what life wants from me. #row #skiff #fitgirl #veganfitgirl #plantbasedathlete #everyweekstronger #eatcleantraindirty #eetwinwin #supersnelherstel #play #smile #onewithlife #innerfire #openendedresults #Bosbaan #Amsterdam